Pit stop
I am at home in between time at mom's adult care house. The hospice nurse on Monday said hours to days is what she has left and days is being generous. Jenny, her amazing aunt (my aunt too) Sharon and I stayed with mom last night. It was a sleepless night for the most part and mom spent a majority of it crying out in pain (so we thought). We would ask her if she hurt and she would calmly reply, "No". She is vocalizing her breathing and whatever internal events that are transpiring. She has long periods of nonsensical noise making, interrupted every so often with "daddy", "mom", and other interesting phrases such as "please" and "God help me". It is simultaneously heart-wrenching and fascinating to watch the dying process.
Landon...you are the man. Thank you for being your brilliant and inspiring self during this.
Sharon (both of you)...you are both like sisters to mom and without a doubt family to me. I love you both and am so very comforted to have you by my side throughout this.
My wife...my love...my everything. Jenny is my angel right now and I am the luckiest man on the planet to call her my better half. She truly is. I love you doll.
Mike and Judy...Family of mine, I love you so and will spend the rest of our shared time on this planet showing you how much your support means to me.
Tommy...my bruzn...I know you got my back and believe me, I will be calling on you soon.
Aunt Blanche and Grandma...you are both so far away, but always in my heart. I love you both and will be in touch soon.
Duane, Julie, Barb, Bill, and all of the people at Friends of the Carpenter...your support, love, and uplifting ways have made this painful journey a little more bearable. Thank you for making both my life now and mom's life these past few years so much better by being in it.
Mom is in the home stretch now and I need to stop punching away at the keyboard and get myself back over there. She is surrounded by love and for the most part is laying in bed with the strongest sense of peacefulness I have ever seen her have. That alone comforts me more than anything.
Pat
posted by p-rob @ 1:30 PM
2 Comments:
Pat
What a beautiful post. I have seen death but after the fact. Knowing that someone as young as you can deal with it and get thru it gets me strong for my turn with my parents (people who took me in as their child without asking nothing but love in return, not even adopted but they make me feel like as if I was always theirs). I do not know how I will handle it but I pray that I use what I have learned from you.
Your courage and strengh and family/friend support is so amazing. I just wished I could have the chance to have friends like yours.
Please kiss your Mom for me.
Love always
V and P
It is a bittersweet thing to sit with Nora in her tiny little room as she moves toward death.
It is another thing altogether to be present as Pat leans over the bed and holds and kisses his mother.
The next hours will take her away. Then all the trinkets and cards and pictures and belongings in the room will suddenly be heavy and cold. I dread that you will pass through that moment, but pass through you will.
You have loved your mother as no one I have ever seen and it is inspiring and hopeful and awful. Thank you for letting me witness this, and once again knowing you even more.
And being proud.
dad
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